Running was all she had known for two years. She’d seen too much. Seen things no one should ever see. Lord knows, she still had the dreams. After all this time, she still woke up shaking from nightmares.
She’d hid out for a lot of months, drifting from place to place, from town to town, fitting in so no one would take notice.
But she was bone-tired.
She didn’t know why she picked this particular place that looked as if it had been here since the beginning of time to stop in. She’d just wanted to kick back and take a breather for a change. Being on the run had finally taken its toll. She was physcially worn out. Tired of looking over her shoulder every hour of every day.
Why had she stopped? She stopped because she didn't want to worry about today or tomorrow or forever. She just wanted to lay her weary head down on a soft pillow and sleep the sleep of the dead.
That was all well and good. It was all she had in mind at the time but somehow that hadn’t worked out and one day bled into the next and the next until she was so swallowed up by the kindness, she somehow forgot that she wasn’t suppose to stay.
So here she was where she shouldn’t be. Yearning for something she shouldn’t be yearning for. She just wanted to fill her senses with the memory of him then she’d be on her way.
She let her fingertips walk across the pillow that he’d hug to his body every night and hope he’d remember her. Just hoping brought a piercing ache to her heart.
Oh, only if it could’ve lasted forever, she thought.
If only things didn’t have to be this way.
If only. If only. If only.
She hated those words.
They’d shared such good times. Loved and laughed. A love that filled all those tiny spaces you never expected to ever be filled, touching her so deep inside she wanted to lie down and weep from the joy of it.
She had been so close to how life should be. How love should be. It had been a chance of a lifetime. Her chance. The one and only.
But for her there was such no thing as chances.
She had to let it go, let him go, let it slip through her fingers like a waterfall because she couldn’t admit the part she’d played in death.
Deep down, she wanted to start over again, bare her soul, anything to have that chance she yearned for. Just to have that one chance of a lifetime.
The peace she’d found as she slept in his arms soothed her, made her whole again. She’d do anything to keep that, to always have that with her. She’d gladly pay the price, even if the price was a broken heart.
Or even her life.